muscleman
Your boyfriend thinks Matchbox Twenty are cool
Your boyfriend thinks Nickelback are cool
Your boyfriend doesn’t know who Iggy Pop is
Your boyfriend killed Kurt Cobain

Your boyfriend is excellent at sport
Your boyfriend thinks Bryce Courtenay is a good writer
Your boyfriend votes for Tony Abbot
Your boyfriend has very high testosterone levels

Your boyfriend likes to subjugate other people
Your boyfriend gets into fights when he’s pissed
Your boyfriend is a macho dominant asshole
Your boyfriend is the type of dickhead who beat me up at school

Your boyfriend is going to beat you if you marry him
If you didn’t give it up to him he would probably rape you
And is probably raping other women
Right now

Your boyfriend has a six pack
Your boyfriend has muscles on his muscles on his muscles
Your boyfriend is cheating on you with a stripper
Your boyfriend is a dominant alpha male

Your boyfriend is a dildo-brain
Your boyfriend is a dick-brain
Your boyfriend is a condom-brain
Your boyfriend is a butt-plug-brain

Your boyfriend is a racist, a sexist, and a homophobe
Your boyfriend is an embodiment of Patriarchy
But you’ll never know it because he hides it well
With his excellent social manipulation skills

Your boyfriend thinks drugs are for mugs
Your boyfriend drinks Bourbon and coke
Your boyfriend thinks that women belong in the kitchen
But he wouldn’t say that to you

Your boyfriend makes football players look like feminists
Your boyfriend can only feel aggression or lust and shuts out all other emotions
Your boyfriend beats his meat to pictures of horses fucking
Your boyfriend exudes toxic masculinity

Your boyfriend likes to fist cows
Your boyfriend sucks on sadism sauce
Your boyfriend has balls of brass and an iron plated ass
Your boyfriend has nostrils of plastic and ceramic eyebrows

Your boyfriend always has to be on top
Your boyfriend doesn’t believe in foreplay
Your boyfriend has a mundane cock
Your boyfriend lasts for two minutes

Your boyfriend is covered in soft green nylon fur
Your boyfriend has potassium kneecaps like rubber bands and an origami sphincter
Your boyfriend has helium cheek bones and a cucumber up his ass
Your boyfriend has plasticine gonads and porcelain ear lobes

Your boyfriend doesn’t act like an asshole in front of you because he wants to fuck you
And every time you fuck him you reinforce and validate his behaviour
And every time you fuck him his ego and bloated self-esteem get bigger
So that he can kick the shit out of anyone weaker than him
And oppress everyone who meets him

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