Crazy with a straitjacket in a Psychiatric

I wonder what it would be like to have a wife
I wonder this a lot until the meme eats into my brain and repeats continuously
What would it be like
What would it be like
To have someone to listen to my bullshit
And tell me that everything will be okay when I’m depressed
Someone to tell me that she loves me when it seems like rabid wookies are at the door
When the schizophrenics gibber and the bipolars polarize
When the autistics discuss their interests and the learning disabled drool
She would be there for me
When the dominant males preen and the poets dream
When the vicious harridans howl and the posers pontificate
She would be there for me
Every person needs a companion
Say the cold fingers of genetic fate around my throat
My soul screams for unity in togetherness
My soul howls for love

If I had a wife
I would insert the words ‘my wife’ into myriad sentences
Like women always insert the words ‘my boyfriend’ or ‘my husband’ when they’re talking to me
Just so I think they’re taken whether they’re single or not and I don’t have a chance in hell
I’d say things like
My wife has a stomach ache
and
My wife loves to eat peaches
or
My wife is a divine angel of pure light and her breasts smell like strawberries
or
My wife gave me a most excellent blow-job this morning and now the whole universe sparkles with possibilities

Somewhere between divine and human
Loved forever no matter how much this crazy world longs for the abyss
She will be my soul mate and my partner in crime
My dearest confidante and my gorgeous honey-darling
My antithesis and my synthesis
I wonder if she’s out there now
Locked up in some kafkaesque insane asylum tied down on a stretcher, overdosing on anti-psychotics
I might channel Sean Connery’s James Bond and go and rescue her
If only I knew where she was
Or if she even exists

Advertisements
Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s