Posts Tagged ‘angel’

Routine

Posted: April 25, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

routine

It’s a mean routine

To make his dreams

Each step the same as those before

The woman leaves him wanting more

It’s a mean routine

It reams his dreams

Angel’s wings and cloaks of black

Enormous gnarly hits of smack

It’s a mean routine

It screams out dreams

Vampire fangs and simpering squares

Let my feelings ride on air

 

Advertisements

mural-on-indian-red-ground

I’ve always been a fat guy

Don’t know if it’s what I eat or my metabolism or both

Never had much luck with the ladies

Never been a player

Never been alpha

You orbit above me like a distant star

Radiant beauty, forbidden love

Wonderful woman divine angel

I dream of your caress like rose petals

I dream of your breasts like mangos

I dream of your lips like pomegranates

But I understand that I am not attractive to you

So I’ll be happy with the friendzone

circle

You might try to square a circle

Or vibrate in harmony with the sighs of the universe

You might relax into a bath in your underpants

Or translate the ravings of a French lunatic poet

But it’s not enough

To end your transpersonal delusions

Or tame the voices

That rave in your head

Like crows

You might enumerate your paranoia

Write sonnets to your sinking sense of well being

Compose an ode to empty cigarette butts

Ramble incoherently to your psychiatric nurse

While black angels watch over you with skull faces

Waiting to scoop you up and take you to hell

 

 

images-4

Wasted carousing through dodgy bars

Head full of hops and THC eyes red and crazy with vestigial energy

How much I love you at times like this

Dancing down pavements whirling like a top

Laughing at identikit suburbanites and sex shops

Rifling and riffing down dank alleyways

Hanging out for an easy fix

Dusty angel men

Compassionate and true

Doing deals and conspiring flagrantly

Doing drugs and peering into binoculars

Sleeping in alleys, drinking wild turkey

Then raging through a blue nightmare like bees

images-5

Hanging out in underpasses, beard resplendent- your Hawaiian shirt bringing down the psychometric city

Dancing down pavements with your hash-pipe in your pocket

Dressing up as a spooky clown to freak out suburban natives

Mellowing out under a tree in vibrant sunlight with your heart full of love

Marrowing the meat of the moment like a pilgrim on the way to the abyss

Are you my angel?

Are you my woman?

Infinite gladness paints plasticine fractals from life

Diadems sparkle like schizophrenic stars

While muscles relax problems contract

Gonna be alright daylight transcending midday melancholy

Under purple skies, pastel balloons soar like birds

Sun smiles on tie-dyed moments illumining faint tracings

Perfect day blazing sensual sentiments

Peace of the soul for humankind

When dreams are confessed

Love becomes manifest

psychotic-disorder-945

Last time I stopped taking my antipsychotics

I felt a bit weird and anxious

And started getting obsessed with the rantings of pick-up artists on the internet

I was convinced by their bullshit that I could emulate an Alpha male

I tried picking up every woman I met

And got progressively crazier every day

Antipsychotics make me fat but they also keep me sane

Toxic masculinity belted through my veins

My pores oozed fuck juice

Not a good situation

So I went back on my medication

And started to mellow out a bit

Now I think about beautiful women all the time

But I can control my impulses

nude

Would you be my imaginary girlfriend?
It’s not a demanding role
Just treat me with kindness
And don’t ignore me
I will inflate your tolerant smile into a balloon of unrequited love
Transubstantiate indifference to affection
Dream of you daily and cry out your name in my sleep
Dancing flesh, pink nipples in my dreams

Could you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will place you on a pedestal taller than a Jarrah tree
And imagine that you are an angel from highest heaven
I know you’re out of my league

Should you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will be your biggest fan
And allow you treat me like shit
But I promise not to get to weird
Or start stalking you
I know it’s twisted
But I just can’t help myself

a-new-heaven-and-a-new-earth

Rapacious corrupting cancer of the throat
Metastasized and devouring the poor bloke in at least ten different body parts
He shrinks into a corpse-like shell on an old chair- waiting for death
At three in the afternoon he arises from his dead-weight slumber and says
‘It’s time’
When he stops breathing, the whole room is suffused with light
Pale blue refracted through infinite white light purer than sunlight
Soaring angel music constructs crystalline castles of cold beauty
Music beautiful beyond words
His soul leaves his body, enters the arms of cerrubim
And begins ascension to Jesus
As angels fall and rise down a heavenly staircase singing Hallujah
He says good-bye to this world of tears and suffering

Angel_of_Death-1

‘Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.’ Friedrich Nietzsche

Lightning crack on a white wall
Devious discontinuity ruining the decor
Rictus fractal fracture in world
Breaks across my hungry eyes in a wave
Opens onto infinite darkness
Beyond the abyss there might be
Beyond the abyss there might be
Beyond the abyss there might be light

Stare into the sockets of the skull of the Angel of Death
Which open into an ultimate void of nothingness
Stench of decay
Breath of corruption
Flesh rotted beyond comprehension
Endowed with cadaver charisma
It always has to be this way
Scraps of black cloth cloak a blackened skeleton’
Perforated shroud
Crackle of bone on bone
A voice spun from winter wind issues from the skull
‘I have come for you’
A call from an Abaddon of emptiness
Reverberates in my guts
A skeletal finger points into my eye, penetrating my soul
I laugh hysterically
I laugh histrionically
I laugh my ass off
I say ‘I want the good shit,
The shit you keep for Boddhisatvas,
The shit you keep for Jesus,
Life beyond death’
Then I spit in his face
And laugh again

Angel
Because you’re gorgeous
And I’m old and fat
Because you’re a wonderful woman
And I’m a corrupt middle-aged man
Because you’re an indelible arrow in my heart
And I’m a drug-ravaged cliché
Because you know all the cool new bands
And I’m stuck in the nineties
Because you’re nubile and radiant
And I’m corpulent and a bit of downer
Because you’re a heavenly angel
And I’m a horrible toad
And I’m not sure if I’ll turn into a prince
Even if you kiss me
Because you’re rapidly transmogrifying into a goddess in my mind
Sacred projection of my anima
So high above and so lovely
But this is not healthy
You want a man, not a worshipper
So I postpone and procrastinate
About telling you
How much you mean to me
And just try to be friends
But not in a passive-aggressive ‘Nice-Guy’ way
Because I know the answer to the song of my heart
Will be no