Posts Tagged ‘attack’

skull

When you do drugs and get to middle age you lose friends

Dead friends haunt my dreams as creeping spectres

Dead friends are a tragedy of blood

Dead friends are like nails through my limbs

Dead friends are like migraines in my brain

Dead friends are holy to my spirit

Dead friends remind me I am mortal

Dead friends are ripping me apart

Can’t stop thinking about them

Their ghosts howl through my consciousness like harpies

Oscillating upwards from my reptile brain

Ned hung himself after doing speed for two weeks

Doug OD’d on heroin

Michelle died in a diabetic coma

Lee died of a heart attack

Don’t know how Venetta died

So many ghosts encircle me

Grief and sorrow punch a hole through my soul

But I will remember these faithful companions on the road to annihilation

 

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loneliness2

Understand the solitary man
Burnt out tree lost in a forest of loneliness
Pebble under an infinite mountain
He puts on a mellow album
Smokes a couple of cones
Lights mandarin flavoured incense
Stares at the dirty plates and empty drink bottles surrounding him and recoils at how dirty the coffee table is
Considers doing the washing
Considers moving the dirty plates to the kitchen
Doesn’t move

His mental soliloquy:
“Oh my filth, my precious filth
No-one can tell me to clean up
At least I know where things are
Oh God ,I’m getting fat
My back aches when I walk
I’m going to die alone in a rented room
From a heart attack or lung cancer
Or I’ll get diabetes and someone will chop off my leg”

Paranoia, paranoia most foul in lonely rooms all over the world where excess men who nobody wants live out their pathetic lives
His personal space is small
No-one wants to invade it
His dreams are always full of women
But his life is empty of them
Too depressed to jerk off but soaked in longing
Waiting for death
Understand the solitary man