Posts Tagged ‘attraction’


I’ve always been a fat guy

Don’t know if it’s what I eat or my metabolism or both

Never had much luck with the ladies

Never been a player

Never been alpha

You orbit above me like a distant star

Radiant beauty, forbidden love

Wonderful woman divine angel

I dream of your caress like rose petals

I dream of your breasts like mangos

I dream of your lips like pomegranates

But I understand that I am not attractive to you

So I’ll be happy with the friendzone

Because you’re gorgeous
And I’m old and fat
Because you’re a wonderful woman
And I’m a corrupt middle-aged man
Because you’re an indelible arrow in my heart
And I’m a drug-ravaged cliché
Because you know all the cool new bands
And I’m stuck in the nineties
Because you’re nubile and radiant
And I’m corpulent and a bit of downer
Because you’re a heavenly angel
And I’m a horrible toad
And I’m not sure if I’ll turn into a prince
Even if you kiss me
Because you’re rapidly transmogrifying into a goddess in my mind
Sacred projection of my anima
So high above and so lovely
But this is not healthy
You want a man, not a worshipper
So I postpone and procrastinate
About telling you
How much you mean to me
And just try to be friends
But not in a passive-aggressive ‘Nice-Guy’ way
Because I know the answer to the song of my heart
Will be no

The girls at Uni walk on by,
And I can never catch their eye.
Here I am in paradise and I feel like a lost child!
Fleeting instamatic glances across the forecourt,
Or a smile at a distance,
And I begin to feel alive.
And they are fresh and young like morning dew on petunias,
And I feel old and corrupt like a haunted house.

The girls at Uni walk on by,
And I am feeling really fried.
Dancing through the sunlight like a thousand fireflies,
Skipping down the pathway in pretty summer dresses with a flower pattern,
Nubile, soft and succulent, buxom and bodalicious.
But I cannot say a word of friendship or love,
My mouth is full of sand.

One day I’ll speak,
And say ‘Hi, how are you going?’
And if no-one reports me for sexual harassment,
We’ll converse about a range of topics,
Of Christmas trees and sealing wax,
Of guinea pigs and nonviolence and trinity as community,
Of subtlety and perfidy and effigies,
And maybe she’ll like me,