Posts Tagged ‘brain’

depression

The crackle of clumsiness

As I attempt to communicate

While drunk as Boris Yeltsin

And only end up freaking women out

And being that creepy guy

That incel waste of space exuding desperation

When I was just trying to be friendly

And not trying

To get into their pants

Or at least trying not to think about it

Or look like I was thinking about it

After the first rejection

Comes the second

And that’s okay

It’s after the hundredth rejection in a row

When not even looking for anything sexual

That the depression really sets in

Like a cancer of the brain

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insomnia

 

When I can’t sleep random thoughts rush through my head

Sometimes sad, sometimes suicidal, sometimes silly

When I can’t sleep I try to meditate instead

Which helps a little but I still feel frustrated

When I can’t sleep I count sheep or breaths or thoughts

To try to sooth my mind and regulate my mood

When I can’t sleep I post on Facebook that I can’t sleep

To try to elicit sympathy and likes

When I can’t sleep

I grumble and groan like grumpy grandpa

And give the shits to everyone I meet

Because I get so agitated and anxious

When I can’t sleep I stay up all night listening to RTR FM

Or read a book

When I can’t sleep the cogs in my brain crunch and creaks

When I can’t sleep the beat of the blood brain barrier is deafening

When I can’t sleep I jerk off to relax

But I never do

When I can’t sleep my head feels like it’s full of glue

Which is neither strange nor new

Instead lost and askew

trump

Trump watches Fox News all day religously in an angry zone

To decide who to bomb and who to abuse on twitter

He changes his staff runaway train rapid

To keep himself amused and the public confused and bemused

And to convince himself that chaos is action

He keeps his brain from falling out with a hairpiece and glue

And bellows bullshit till he’s bright orange

He keeps all his acolytes

Stoned on his rhetoric and tweets

He loves the low information voters

They keep him powered up like a jack in the box

So he feeds them racist dog-whistles and paranoid xenophobic ramblings

While working against their economic interests

He loves to piss off China

And suck Vladimir Putin’s Russian rod

His staff is constructed of neofacist leaching lunatics

And the whole mess gets sillier than a satanic sausage everyday l

I just hope John Bolton doesn’t tell him to bomb North Korea

And set off a worldwide shit-fight that ends us all

skull

When you do drugs and get to middle age you lose friends

Dead friends haunt my dreams as creeping spectres

Dead friends are a tragedy of blood

Dead friends are like nails through my limbs

Dead friends are like migraines in my brain

Dead friends are holy to my spirit

Dead friends remind me I am mortal

Dead friends are ripping me apart

Can’t stop thinking about them

Their ghosts howl through my consciousness like harpies

Oscillating upwards from my reptile brain

Ned hung himself after doing speed for two weeks

Doug OD’d on heroin

Michelle died in a diabetic coma

Lee died of a heart attack

Don’t know how Venetta died

So many ghosts encircle me

Grief and sorrow punch a hole through my soul

But I will remember these faithful companions on the road to annihilation

 

high-dog-440x440

Hidden heart erupts pulse flowers like dust-motes through air

Inner brain imagines mandalas

Plastic fractal rainbow images crystallize my mental skate-park

Unicorn day-dream deadly fantasias, hooligan holograms

Central hallucinations pulsating in infinite variety

Mad ravings by voices which echo incongruously

Suicidal strivings against concrete conformity

Schizoid simperings in the marrow of suburbia

Cracked actions in a bubble of sedition

Mutating madrigals which burble in tune

To the beat of the cosmos, galaxies and stars

Dreaming of vast swaying fields of marijuana

Drunk on delusions and midnight madness

Dying while hermit crabs crackle against rocks

Dying overcome by poisonous paranoia

Dying within while the world rages without

 

Weed

Posted: February 7, 2017 in poetry
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cannabis-cup-640x401

Chop up about half a gram of green crumbly weed

With some tobacco

Take a pipe, and fill it with the mix

Ignite and inhale

Almost always cough

 

Don’t you love it when that warm satisfying numbness

Invades your brain and settles into your body

Kisses your cranium and renders you stoned impervious to paranoia

A rush of green apathy and carefree abandon as eyes redden

Loneliness fades and anxiety dissipates

Music starts to sound like crystal stars floating through the ether

Everything is more amusing

Everything is beautiful

Thanks to magical marijuana

 

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Trip through life and suck on sky

These concrete moments make me high

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to die

Someday I will tell you why

Bend the twilight into shape

While the heavenly harridan gapes

Things fall to pieces, shattering into dust

Crackling, crinkling deforming as entropy increases

While the bird in my brain tweets inane gibberish to cauterize my mind

And my limbs become robotic in under a flagrant moon

The moon that sucks on my wound

Stars that pinprick my eyes

I’m dying, I’m frying

I’m flying, I’m flying

Over vast swaying fields of marijuana

Stinky green crumbly buds with orange hairs

Everywhere

impala

 

You don’t need your bike

It will only drag you down

Weary and wonderful you articulate your generation like an ancient artefact

Pent up in poetry and raging through twilight you transcend delusion and bring light to darkness

Dance on through suburbia like a supersonic gibbon

Graffiti the walls with poems and trivia

Penetrate the crux of anti-matter

Ravage imperiously with radiant grin

Through the mind of every woman in a desperate search for attention

Oh to be a boyfriend to be loved by a good woman

To be an object of affection

Loaded up with misdirection

Contemplating a profound derangement of the senses

To live like a psychedelic pirate transubstantiating my brain through multiple universes

Then disappear into the void of a black hole

 

Blast my brain

Posted: December 10, 2016 in poetry
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dali

Blast my brain

Beat my teats

Christen my flow

Caress my glow

Bend my gonads

Skip my monad

Stretch your ears

Skirt my moat

Stitch your trousers

Slit your throat

Shiver my senses

Hack my systems

Trance my twat

Question my existence

Fondle my eel

Cuddle my carrot

Deny my intellect

Corrupt your bones

Pull a few cones

 

 

Monkeypuzzler

Posted: November 5, 2016 in poetry
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Nothing means anything
Monkey puzzler with
Your dumb ape wisdom
And banana brain
Covered in fur with
Much hair on the gonads

Swing from the trees
Express dominance
Make gibbon noises
And soon you will see
A hairy ape who knows no fear
A knobby ape who knows no bones
Enlivens many jungles