Posts Tagged ‘centre’

devastation

Devastation, any moment, any time

All so random

Plastic moments

Horrid slime

Devastation like a vampire sucks on night

Devastation like a snake lurking in underbrush

Devastation like a shark inhaling blood

Devastation like a werewolf ripping throats

Devastation like a demon straight from hell

Devastation and a stinky festering smell

Electric wookies in each neuron of your brain

Electric earthlight through the centre of your veins

Electric amoeba pulsating through time

Electric tendons stretched out by intensive work

Take me backwards through the echoes of the night

Take me outside and whisper words of fear

Take me down the pub and buy me a beer

I am waiting for a frenzy of blood

I am waiting for a sun-dance of light

Take me downwards and you’ll find that I might

Be devastated

Again and again

heroinneedles

Victoria Park, early 2000s
I bullshit my way into a job in a drug rehab clinic
Schizoaffective poly-drug abusers
Manic depressive heroin addicts
Just plain depressive heroin addicts with a dash of PTSD
Lashings of ADHD criminals, usually on speed
All manner of benzodiazepine addicts
Benzodiazepines are the nastiest
Seizures if you go into withdrawal
There was one guy on sixty Valiums a day
All of them caught up in a spider web of chemical obligation and craving
Variables in the obscure calculus of tolerance and addiction
None of them ever thought they’d be addicts
Almost all have not two but four or five diagnoses- substance abuse and several psychiatric conditions
Never met a junkie without a mental illness
Eighty percent of them have hepatitis C
So many junkies continuously bitching and whinging
And no-one bitches and whinges like a junkie
Track Marks on arms and brain-stem
Paranoia
Depression
Delusions
No sleep
No hope
Voices telling them to kill themselves
Sexually abused by their fathers
All medicating their pain with drugs
And when you hear their stories
You don’t blame them

Their movements are wasted and agitated
Everything directs their minds to a continual craving
Desperation reeking, sneaking in and permeating the whole clinic
So much need, so much suffering, so much trauma
Endless longing for all manner of pharmaceuticals
To fill the vortex-hole in their souls

Half human-half corpses
Pinpoint-pupil eyes
Flickering about
A stream of lies on their tongues
They’d kick smack
And get addicted to buprenorphine or methadone
Which are more addictive than heroin
And don’t help much
But at least they won’t steal your video anymore