Posts Tagged ‘crack’

Delusions

Posted: July 8, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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Take my delusions
Draw your eyes black
Sentient profusion
Addled with smack
Manifesting confusion
Having a crack
Keep me exposed
Squaring the end
Nobody knows
You are my friend
All the world glows
Now on the mend

screen-shot-2012-10-30-at-4-28-19-pm

Felonious kicks
For stupid pricks
Cavorting like corpses through purple twilight
Tedious fucks
Out of luck
When concrete cracks
Buildings collapse
Never go back to the town of your birth
Where skeletons parade through lonely streets
First people you meet
Have no eyes and no faces
Spectres haunt corners and grimace like gargoyles
Cars pass driven by porcelain princesses
Taking their kids to school
While their identikit husbands toil
Through uneven soil
And death’s maw beckons
At every second
To suck them into the pit
Full of shit
They consume and sit in front of television
Hypnotized
Hype glazes their eyes
And zombifies their skulls till everything just seems to blur
Into a grey and infinite turd
Stinking up their neurons and rendering them vegetable
Useless as a used condom

smoking meth

2 pm I take a taxi over to Shelby’s place. Her X Brad is there and they are both really excited to see me. I have the money—they have the contacts
It’s time to do some serious drugs

First up brad says he knows some guy from who lives not far away
I say I want 200 worth and he heads off
Shelby and I chat—it seems that no time has passed since we met and we always get on well— but we can’t resist bitching about how long brad is taking

Finally Brad is back
I think it looks a bit light
But bugger it
Stick it in your arm it will do you no harm
he mixes up and brings out three 1 ml syringes with about twenty mills in each

He gives me a shot—I know it’s gone into the vein in my hand when I see the blood
Then comes a substantial but not transcendent head rush
I feel like my senses are more accurate
My head feels clear as glass
I’m pinging

Then we get some beers and start some serious drinking
Shelby gets a call saying she can get a good hundred from her friend Su
So the anticipation builds again—Brad is still there so in theory I could still shoot up, but I thought fuck it— I’m going smoke this shit
Su rocks up with the meth and I pay a hundred
Brad divides it up and puts my share on aluminium foil
I wait until the smoke gets thick and white then suck it up with an empty Ventolin
The smoke tastes bitter, but not unpleasant and the rush hits my brain like a runaway train
Wow smoking is as good as shooting
I feel electric surges through my whole body and my eyes open wide
After about three smokes all the meth is gone but I’m buzzing all over by this stage and my teeth are grinding
The world is infinite and crystalline and under my control
I am the Ubermensch

Then Shelby gets a call offering a point for fifty bucks
Fuck me we’re going to get even higher
In ten minutes it’s here
This time I smoke it through a proper crack pipe
No thick white smoke is wasted and soon I feel like I’m towering over the universe at hyper-speed
My eyeballs are popping out of my head and my jaw is moving
I think I’ve had enough.

christ
Twist a string of beads
Around a witch’s waist
Build a crappy tent of bulbous bones
Against the rabid rain

Which pelts poison in your brain
And soon drives you electrically insane
Nerve toxins in the neurons
Birthing paralytic rictus
And quasi simian spasticity

Beat a rubber eel upon a warlock’s wobbly bits
Signify a morbid mountain of madness
Spit upon the surfaces of suppurating melancholy
Dance into the crack within the nothing
Like a stoned fool on smack
They’ll never want you back
Until all is black as boots and empty

Taste a poxy potion of hallucinatory mushrooms
See Christ crucified with the head of a Beast
See the many horns and eyes of the beast
See the real Christ crucified in pulsating pain
See the wood of the cross multiplying across Europe
See the Shroud of Tourin photocopying a saviour
See Christ crucified on every tree
And every tree a Bible
See towering cathedrals of light hidden from mortal retinas
Fractal kaleidoscopic sun structures of infinite intricacy
Bedazzling and befuddling desperately then
Faces without eyes emerge from the void
Like fungus growing from a corpse

Flashes of spark-light phosphorescence against the windows of the skull
Mad carousing reptiles wrap their bodies around a totem pole
Wood hacked to grinning skulls piled to heaven vertical
Fire flickers and the children of light dance their circle
Drums beat a rumbling rhythm that hypnotizes
Summoning old Spirits to bring in a new age

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The bush eats a woman and a maggot full of blood
Dead beaten body murdered for love
Eyes on the pus and the crack of the bone
Never will, ever will be so alone

Dead to the world and dead to all thought
Dead to the oceans of pain that she felt
Now she is empty but also free
Nothing but a vapour on the menacing sea

The bush eats a woman and a maggot full of blood
Ready for, ready for, horny for love
Dead broken bodies on a moribund street
Pain for salvation so slutty you must eat

Heads shaped so holy to scrape against God
Harridan half-steps in search of being odd
Half eaten monsters lurk inside your brain
It can never, it can never, it can never be the same

Sylvia, Anne, rot with me now
So the body tells the body it is dying somehow
Rape me in the moonlight with penetrating bone
No I’ve never, no I’ve never felt so alone

Angel_of_Death-1

‘Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.’ Friedrich Nietzsche

Lightning crack on a white wall
Devious discontinuity ruining the decor
Rictus fractal fracture in world
Breaks across my hungry eyes in a wave
Opens onto infinite darkness
Beyond the abyss there might be
Beyond the abyss there might be
Beyond the abyss there might be light

Stare into the sockets of the skull of the Angel of Death
Which open into an ultimate void of nothingness
Stench of decay
Breath of corruption
Flesh rotted beyond comprehension
Endowed with cadaver charisma
It always has to be this way
Scraps of black cloth cloak a blackened skeleton’
Perforated shroud
Crackle of bone on bone
A voice spun from winter wind issues from the skull
‘I have come for you’
A call from an Abaddon of emptiness
Reverberates in my guts
A skeletal finger points into my eye, penetrating my soul
I laugh hysterically
I laugh histrionically
I laugh my ass off
I say ‘I want the good shit,
The shit you keep for Boddhisatvas,
The shit you keep for Jesus,
Life beyond death’
Then I spit in his face
And laugh again

cocaine
I can’t score cocaine in Perth:
I can’t find the neon plastic dancers who appreciate the covert way of the snow white powder.
I can’t do line after line of coke and feel sped up and powerful and chatter extravagant bull-shit to my mates.
I can’t experience the peaks and valleys of a raging rollercoaster cocaine addiction.
I can’t get crack either and I’d love to know why this is so.
I can’t imagine why someone isn’t bringing coke in on a boat or shoving it up their ass.
I can’t understand why organized criminals don’t get their shit together and import the stuff but,
I can’t afford it anyway.
I can score pot in Perth:
I can go to an open house and pick up a gram for thirty bucks.
I can smoke it up with my mates and dream of fields of undulating green covered with mature female mull plants in bud.
I can feel my brain go all fuzzy then begin to recite hallucinatory cabalistic texts.
I can imagine Bogota, Bogota a city of cartels and homicides.
I can imagine this city where cocaine flows through arcane veins.