Posts Tagged ‘delusion’

scream

Back ensconced in ward 8 Bentley Hospital in my flytrap mind

At least I’m with my crazy people

Suicidal ideation with cold claws of depression around my throat

Empathy and cigarettes as I meet the gentle mental

Telling tales of trauma as we lurch toward medication time buoyed by companionship

Memories of their voices

‘She was born a heroin baby’

‘I took an overdose of Valium and a shitload of antidepressants’

‘I tried to kill myself twice’

‘I wish I was dead’

‘I tried to hang myself with a sheet and the nurse found me’

People rendered fragile by the viscous blender of earth

Some think us hopelessly broken

We balance madness and sanity in our brains sometimes madness wins

Medication time, medication time

Drugs are shuffled by doctors and dolled out to wild-eyed victims of the societal meat-grinder

Titration of pills and prescriptions to quell anxiety, depression and delusion

Uppers, downers, round and rounders

Anti-psychotics, anti-depressants and heavenly benzodiazepenes

Then we sit outside in the courtyard to smoke to punctuate our day

Sharing cigarettes with noble depressives or exploring thought projection with shamanic schizophrenics

We dance a devilish dance in a rain of paranoia

Until it all becomes too much

We are sad, we are sometimes shattered

Sometimes hard to love

But we laugh and we smile too

Then howl out the agony of our souls

We will keep trying

To get our heads together

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my_jackson_pollock_painting_by_amau41200-d4vjeut

art by jackson pollock

 

 

Curse this rotten world

Of loneliness and pain

Life just life still going on

Suffering starts again

Curse this useless life

This cancerous callous maze

Forever lost bearing the cost

Of endless bad decisions

Curse this talk of hate

Rage and rushing poison

Life like a barbed wire caresses

Death like a sensuous kiss

Curse this rotten world

A frenzy of delusion

Let all things rot inside themselves

To perfect their confusion

Curse this rotten earth

Like a harlot giving birth

Curse the threat of danger

And the fist in the face

the-flame

 

Closing in

Fanged delusions cavort through consciousness

Viper-tongued ladies with dreams bursting fire

Wasted thoughts wending their way out from the id like fireflies out of a vortex

Stinking conceptions corruptly metastasizing all over the mind

Cancerous growth of fetid paranoia unto recurring patterns of depravity

All spiking and stabbing into possible happiness till I drown in pessimism

Closing in

Nuclear violence from North Korea lights up a possible earth

Crazy shit as usual from Trump blazing orange fury tweets

Accusers and haters surround me in a circle of derision

Closing in

Like a gigantic squeezing fist

Chaos and corruption from government cronies

Poverty encroaching everywhere virally

Neocon-Nut-jobs rattling racism like castanets

Closing in

Like gangrene up a limb by increments

 

mural

Rally around all you schizoid losers and deluded users

Know truly illusion, delusion, confusion

Take each step proudly like someone who knows their own mind

Eat the pill

Until DMT day dreams manifest fields of flame and compassionate atmospheres

Floating free on winds of self-satisfaction

Meeting with aliens in conspiracies of shadows

Depth sounded depravity echoes through cortex

Corrupts beautifully like a shot of purest thai white

A hit of heavenly torpor

Getting with the flow of what nobody knows

Panics of paranoia will not confabulate my deconstructed chic

Or make me feel weak

Lost or lonely

Don’t decay- I’m not dead yet

Don’t fade like evening light

Let my neurons settle and be in each moment

Let my spine align in perfect posture

Focus on the good stuff

Let the bad thoughts pass by.

 

beast

Write on me what you will

Project your delusions all over my silly face

Tattoo cryptic letters on my body

Story me, stereotype me

Classify me, pattern me

Codify me, categorize me

Garrot me, perforate me

While centrelink waits to crunch my bones

Like the beast rising from the sea in the apocalypse

Soon I will feel it’s fangs in my flesh

high-dog-440x440

Hidden heart erupts pulse flowers like dust-motes through air

Inner brain imagines mandalas

Plastic fractal rainbow images crystallize my mental skate-park

Unicorn day-dream deadly fantasias, hooligan holograms

Central hallucinations pulsating in infinite variety

Mad ravings by voices which echo incongruously

Suicidal strivings against concrete conformity

Schizoid simperings in the marrow of suburbia

Cracked actions in a bubble of sedition

Mutating madrigals which burble in tune

To the beat of the cosmos, galaxies and stars

Dreaming of vast swaying fields of marijuana

Drunk on delusions and midnight madness

Dying while hermit crabs crackle against rocks

Dying overcome by poisonous paranoia

Dying within while the world rages without

 

Buddha

Posted: February 26, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

buddha2

Watch thoughts slide by like skates on ice

On the conveyer belt of consciousness

Breathe deeply and watch them go by without attachment

Don’t cling desperately to your delusions

Watch ripples in your mind settle

Clarity emerges

You are not human

You are Buddha