Posts Tagged ‘gentle’

scream

Back ensconced in ward 8 Bentley Hospital in my flytrap mind

At least I’m with my crazy people

Suicidal ideation with cold claws of depression around my throat

Empathy and cigarettes as I meet the gentle mental

Telling tales of trauma as we lurch toward medication time buoyed by companionship

Memories of their voices

‘She was born a heroin baby’

‘I took an overdose of Valium and a shitload of antidepressants’

‘I tried to kill myself twice’

‘I wish I was dead’

‘I tried to hang myself with a sheet and the nurse found me’

People rendered fragile by the viscous blender of earth

Some think us hopelessly broken

We balance madness and sanity in our brains sometimes madness wins

Medication time, medication time

Drugs are shuffled by doctors and dolled out to wild-eyed victims of the societal meat-grinder

Titration of pills and prescriptions to quell anxiety, depression and delusion

Uppers, downers, round and rounders

Anti-psychotics, anti-depressants and heavenly benzodiazepenes

Then we sit outside in the courtyard to smoke to punctuate our day

Sharing cigarettes with noble depressives or exploring thought projection with shamanic schizophrenics

We dance a devilish dance in a rain of paranoia

Until it all becomes too much

We are sad, we are sometimes shattered

Sometimes hard to love

But we laugh and we smile too

Then howl out the agony of our souls

We will keep trying

To get our heads together

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the-she-wolf

Twisted down and broken

Maddened and unopened

I take my time

Mired in slime

From the moment

Into the meat of each echo of the moment

 

Howling bone

Couple of cones

Dead weight daydreams

Silent death screams

Being gentle with myself

Cut out the super-critical conscience

Look at the evidence for negative self-talk

Rest and let the spirit run

Through fields of daffodils

Like a stallion

man

Will what makes a man of me

Unmake you as a woman?

An embrace or a head-fuck

The undergirding certainties are crackling like leaves in flame

All so precarious

All so deficient

I’m afraid reality will fall apart

All dreams and schemes collapse to dust

If Trump bombs North Korea

And the whole shit-storm accelerates into apocalypse

And a nuclear missile hits Garden Island

 

Will what makes a man of me

Make me cruel and unforgiving

Is forgiveness weakness?

Is gentle Jesus too meek and mild?

To inspire a man to be a man

When the world is full of baby munching super predatory shark monsters

Victimizing and ripping off all the people who can’t stand up for themselves

It’s scary for gentle people

It’s scary for all people

marthamary

Piggelies chasing piggelies all over the floor
Piggelies in the hay and piggelies in the straw
First Melanie then Maggie pop corning
Following each other
The eternal chasey game
Lovely piggelies with gentle hearts
Cuddly piggelies that make me happy
Loyal piggelies after the prime
Furry piggelies purring as I stroke their backs
Little fat piggelies playing their piggely games
Dancing across the floor in search of fresh prime