Posts Tagged ‘guinea pigs’

winona3
Why don’t the nice girls like me?
Because I have a big bulbous belly full of beer?
Because I have the social skills of an abalone?
Why don’t the nice girls like me?
Because I am not confident?
Because I am not sexy?
Why don’t the nice girls like me?
Because I smoke too much pot and write about it?
Because I let my guinea pigs crap in my bed?
Why don’t the nice girls like me?
Because I stare at their breasts instead of their eyes-
Even if it’s only for an instant?
Because I want them so much it hurts?
Why don’t the nice girls like me?
Because I’m always forgetting to clean the toilet?
Because, sad to say, I need to work on my personal hygiene?
That’s enough reasons I think-
Who can blame them?

my piggies

my piggies


Mary and Martha are my post-evangelical guinea pigs,
They don’t believe in penal substitution,
And emphasize God’s love over his wrath.
They love all their neighbours gay, addicted, promiscuous, black or white.
They love their God by instinct,
And in between eating their own poo, paper and vegetables;
And making all manner of fascinating noises,
They offer sound counsel.
Wheek Wheek! Rumble Rumble! Wheek Wheek!
They shake their bottoms while they rumble,
Then Martha mounts Mary in lesbionic joy.