Posts Tagged ‘ingot’

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Just to impress you I rolled a whole stick into a doobie and lit it up
Just to impress you I drank ten pints of Guinness
Just to impress you I sculled a bottle of Wild Turkey
Just to impress you I vomited and fell off my chair

Just to impress you I smoked a gram of crystal meth
Just to impress you I stayed up for five days
Just to impress you I shot up fifty bucks worth of smack
Just to impress you I nodded off in the corner in a house full of junkies

Just to impress you I penetrated the clouds with my breath and enervated the stars with my glare
Just to impress you I transmogrified into a Wookie and howled at the moon
Just to impress you I drank the Nile river and shat out a solid gold ingot
Just to impress you I lost 40 kilos by chopping off my legs

Just to impress you I broke wind in the moonlight and set it on fire
Just to impress you I consecrated a toad as pope while wearing a tutu
Just to impress you I swam to the bottom of the ocean and found you a giant pearl
Just to impress you I declared war on New Zealand and dropped my trousers to the Queen

Just to impress you I fought a tiger to the death and feasted on it’s flesh
Just to impress you I beat my meat to Blake’s quatrains and gibbered like a gibbon
Just to impress you I journeyed to the land of the monkey king and brought back seven gnostic scriptures
But you said ‘I’m not impressed and I’m never going to have sex with you’