Posts Tagged ‘insomnia’

insomnia

 

When I can’t sleep random thoughts rush through my head

Sometimes sad, sometimes suicidal, sometimes silly

When I can’t sleep I try to meditate instead

Which helps a little but I still feel frustrated

When I can’t sleep I count sheep or breaths or thoughts

To try to sooth my mind and regulate my mood

When I can’t sleep I post on Facebook that I can’t sleep

To try to elicit sympathy and likes

When I can’t sleep

I grumble and groan like grumpy grandpa

And give the shits to everyone I meet

Because I get so agitated and anxious

When I can’t sleep I stay up all night listening to RTR FM

Or read a book

When I can’t sleep the cogs in my brain crunch and creaks

When I can’t sleep the beat of the blood brain barrier is deafening

When I can’t sleep I jerk off to relax

But I never do

When I can’t sleep my head feels like it’s full of glue

Which is neither strange nor new

Instead lost and askew

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sleep

Damn sleepless night

Head cramping

Legs restless

Frustration growing

Have a wank

An hour later still can’t sleep

Listening to music- triple J and RTR

Surfing across stations in search of calm vibes

Frustration growing

Trying to self-sooth to sleep with mantras, incantations diaphragmatic breathing

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Should I count sheep or guinea pigs?

But just can’t get there

Frustration growing

Get up

Read a book

Damn eyes are going

Can’t read the print

A curse on all people who sleep easily

A wish for some seriously strong sleeping pills

A fantasy of gnarly benzodiazepines

Mogadon me baby

Now, now, now

Fuck this shit

Fuck this shit

Fuck this shit

succubus_full

languidly he lies in bed
triumphant conquests history
sweaty nights of frenzied sleeplessness
alone in an empty bed with his filth
inside hollow inside dead
shit-stained sheets
cum-stained doona
morbid laughter lines of sorrow in sheet wrinkles
gallons of insomnia
rivers of awakening
a presence at the end of the bed sits pensively
incubus succubus
dead within and without
translucent spirit
crouching to pounce lasciviously
and assimilate
sleep-body to ghost-particles
the horror
translate to intricate aramaic utterances
the horror
sucking out the sauce of life
vacuum soul ether-pump frenzy then
dead-weight adorns the rotten mattress
bloated corspse-flesh
decomposing to maggot-mush
and onward unto bone
once again alone