Posts Tagged ‘mellow’

lsd

 

Fine Art student party in the nineties

Innovative art on the walls

They might all end up unemployed but they know how to party

Everyone was on acid

Gold keys

And there was a back room with glowing star stickers

So you could pretend you were God looking out over the universe.

I started to freak out

And saw a thousand foot high monster with hundreds and hundreds of eyes

The fear set in

Paranoia crawled up my spine for a while

But then I mellowed out a bit

And had a good time

The trick

Is never to think

I shouldn’t have taken that fucking trip

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muse

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale calm

Exhale karma

Floating in a moment like a bubble

Not worrying about the future

Not mulling over the past

No longer catastrophizing

Inhale calm

Exhale karma

Peace exudes from mental pores

Neurons settle and synchronize into music

Relaxing into a confident place

Feeling at ease and coherent

Rivers of breath channel  a mellow brain

Guiding mind to crystalline lake where ripples fade

So that it may be at peace

psychotic-disorder-945

Last time I stopped taking my antipsychotics

I felt a bit weird and anxious

And started getting obsessed with the rantings of pick-up artists on the internet

I was convinced by their bullshit that I could emulate an Alpha male

I tried picking up every woman I met

And got progressively crazier every day

Antipsychotics make me fat but they also keep me sane

Toxic masculinity belted through my veins

My pores oozed fuck juice

Not a good situation

So I went back on my medication

And started to mellow out a bit

Now I think about beautiful women all the time

But I can control my impulses

loneliness2

Understand the solitary man
Burnt out tree lost in a forest of loneliness
Pebble under an infinite mountain
He puts on a mellow album
Smokes a couple of cones
Lights mandarin flavoured incense
Stares at the dirty plates and empty drink bottles surrounding him and recoils at how dirty the coffee table is
Considers doing the washing
Considers moving the dirty plates to the kitchen
Doesn’t move

His mental soliloquy:
“Oh my filth, my precious filth
No-one can tell me to clean up
At least I know where things are
Oh God ,I’m getting fat
My back aches when I walk
I’m going to die alone in a rented room
From a heart attack or lung cancer
Or I’ll get diabetes and someone will chop off my leg”

Paranoia, paranoia most foul in lonely rooms all over the world where excess men who nobody wants live out their pathetic lives
His personal space is small
No-one wants to invade it
His dreams are always full of women
But his life is empty of them
Too depressed to jerk off but soaked in longing
Waiting for death
Understand the solitary man