Posts Tagged ‘pain’

Fried

Posted: August 8, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

fried

 

I want to get fried under radiant skies

Toasted like heated bread

Stoned like a rock

Folded like a sock

Smashed like a broken bottle

Trashed like Shane MacGowan

I want to be high like a cloud

Weird like an anarchistic alien

Bent like a coat-hanger

Blasted like a rocket into space

Wasted like a wastrel

Till all pain is gone

And all anxiety vanquished

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alien_44

Mark my cryptic madness

Love my hopelessness

Talley up my magnificent frenzy

Break my infinite sadness

 

How can you look at me

With your rebellious technology

How will you romance me

With your primitive ancestry

 

How can you look like me

Why do you try to resemble

My insignificant shadows

And my primitive ancestry

 

Now do you see me

Pelican moroseness

Crow feather pain

Under mistletoe

Broken

bosch

Under a sky of lead and fire
Naked people writhing impaled
Or hacked to chunks
Terrified, tormented
Their bestial screams echo and blend
Flesh bleeds and spasms
Stench of despair and sulphur
Demons forked and foul organize the torture
And giggle at the pain of the damned
Fire and whirling lava lakes
Body on body tortured beyond sanity
Dogs of hell loose and biting
Rats, snakes and scorpions set free to feed from inside out
Bodily orifices pierced with sharp objects
Pain and madness intensifying
Hell’s doors are locked from the inside
But the suffering never ends

 

cutting

Noises in the system
Voices in the head
Let me out
I don’t like it in here
This confinement
In this cage of blades,
This knotted cage of woe
With Satan breathing on my neck
I do my work
Work of the razor
Cutting easily
To blood
To blood
Tender moments with my arm
The razor does its work
My own brutal calligraphy
Written in letters of pain
There must be more than this
But there doesn’t seem to be
Cut it again
Watch it bleed
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat

empathy

Symbiotic empathy
Is precious as platinum
Person to person network pulsating
Holding hands with minds and mutual goodwill
Understanding pain like nails hammered into souls
Interdividual manifestations of companionship
Mirror-feeling alien emotions of others
Can unite us like no other magic
As we are social animals
When we feel the other’s pain
And can imagine their journey
Compassion flows like honey

Lower-Back-Pain

So I was making wedges by cutting up potatoes, then frying them in the frying pan
Once the wedges were brown I covered them in vinegar and chicken salt
They were delicious—I ate them in the strainer
I spilled some oil out of the chips onto the floor
Simply thought to myself—what a dumb-ass— and went on eating
The rest of the night I was watching crap on TV
And scratching my balls as I drifted into a semi-somnambulant state
Then about 2 o’clock in the morning I stood up to go to the loo and my feet slipped on the oil
Time slowed down and stretched as my legs splayed in opposite direction
I landed on my ass on the unyielding concrete floor
It was like being penetrated by an electrified dildo
A terrible shot-gun pain fired up my spine and all over my back like razor wire grating the bone
I felt like someone was hacking into my back with an axe
My knee was fucked and painful too
I thought to myself- that’s it, I’m fucked- I’ve slipped a disc
I can’t walk and somehow drag myself to bed in agony
In the early morning I call my Dad, who comes over and calls an ambulance as I can’t get out of bed
They give me the magic anaesthetic whistle to suck on, and we eventually managed to get me to the ambulance
In hospital the highlight was some oxycodone—a most satisfying opiate that made me feel a little goofy and sucked away my pain
Then, as soon as I could demonstrate that I could walk, I was sent home because all the x-rays were negative.
It was muscular.

When you talk
I can hear gears whirling and missing
And see misfired electricity racing to the end of burnt-out of neurons
You are talking to yourself and not to me
And you always smoke all the weed

Your world is populated by imaginary friends
A whispering, mumbling, shouting cacophony
And you’re always talking to them
But you say you’re not schizophrenic

You are convinced of your genius
But how much is pretension
And how much is delusion
And how much sanity prevention

‘Artist’ is a wall you hide behind
To avoid getting help
It’s all getting tired
Call the doctor

You need help
Like fifty psychiatrists in Jamaica bent out of their brains just thinking about your problems
You need help
Like Freud and Jung tag teaming you on a couch of marshmallows help
You need help
Psychologists, psychiatrists, psych-nurses, witch doctors everybody helping you
Then you might get your shit together
And stop being such a pain in the ass

lonelyperson
Fuck this shit
I like women
Women don’t like me
It’s a conundrum
A paradox
Who the fuck wants to fuck a middle-aged fat bastard
Who the fuck wants to cuddle up to someone sweaty, bloated and pointless
How much longer will I self-destruct:
For love
For the sake of pain
For madness
For joy
For kicks
For blitzkrieg insanity
For lack of a good woman

I like women
Women don’t like me
I am:
Too fat
Too lonely
Too desperate
Too maudlin
Too pathetic
Too weird
Too stoned
Too drunk
So I have another beer
And I have another cigarette
I have another cone
Occasionally I have a shot
And exude infinite soul-longing for silent death-bliss
Which will come on like a shot of smack and euthanize my emptiness
And set me free to roam the realm of Spirits
With angel’s wings

Drumheller Valley Storm Clouds

A poison rain falls on me
I am broken like a forgotten plate
I am shattered like a window by a baseball bat
I am drowning in pain
I am buried in melancholy
So hard to get traction in the mud and the mire
With malevolent crows waiting to pick out my eyes
And vultures circling in a dream of my dead flesh
Behind me a vicious beast pads along
Satisfied in a pace that intimidates
Waiting to eat me up like a potato chip
A beast with horns, a beast with fangs like razor blades
A beast wit foul breath and a stench of rotting meat
Covered in shaggy purple fur with blood red eyes that glow in the dark
My back aches from a multitude of steps in this miserable pilgrimage
I know it will be over soon
Death will come as a longed for kiss
Then silence

most-beatiful-women-08

The bush eats a woman and a maggot full of blood
Dead beaten body murdered for love
Eyes on the pus and the crack of the bone
Never will, ever will be so alone

Dead to the world and dead to all thought
Dead to the oceans of pain that she felt
Now she is empty but also free
Nothing but a vapour on the menacing sea

The bush eats a woman and a maggot full of blood
Ready for, ready for, horny for love
Dead broken bodies on a moribund street
Pain for salvation so slutty you must eat

Heads shaped so holy to scrape against God
Harridan half-steps in search of being odd
Half eaten monsters lurk inside your brain
It can never, it can never, it can never be the same

Sylvia, Anne, rot with me now
So the body tells the body it is dying somehow
Rape me in the moonlight with penetrating bone
No I’ve never, no I’ve never felt so alone