Posts Tagged ‘paranoia’

balanced-rocks-1

Precarious
Life is precarious
I may start to lose focus
Start worrying about worrying
Catastrophizing and creeping towards insanity
Isn’t it important just to let anxiety go?
Watch paranoia pass into nothing
And be in the present
Not fearing the future
Or ruminating in the past
But applying conscious thought to each action
To get it together

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high-dog-440x440

Hidden heart erupts pulse flowers like dust-motes through air

Inner brain imagines mandalas

Plastic fractal rainbow images crystallize my mental skate-park

Unicorn day-dream deadly fantasias, hooligan holograms

Central hallucinations pulsating in infinite variety

Mad ravings by voices which echo incongruously

Suicidal strivings against concrete conformity

Schizoid simperings in the marrow of suburbia

Cracked actions in a bubble of sedition

Mutating madrigals which burble in tune

To the beat of the cosmos, galaxies and stars

Dreaming of vast swaying fields of marijuana

Drunk on delusions and midnight madness

Dying while hermit crabs crackle against rocks

Dying overcome by poisonous paranoia

Dying within while the world rages without

 

circle

You might try to square a circle

Or vibrate in harmony with the sighs of the universe

You might relax into a bath in your underpants

Or translate the ravings of a French lunatic poet

But it’s not enough

To end your transpersonal delusions

Or tame the voices

That rave in your head

Like crows

You might enumerate your paranoia

Write sonnets to your sinking sense of well being

Compose an ode to empty cigarette butts

Ramble incoherently to your psychiatric nurse

While black angels watch over you with skull faces

Waiting to scoop you up and take you to hell

 

 

purple

Henry ran out of whisky and switched to weed

An ounce bought from a slightly dodgy fellow poet

Henry’s mate, Captain Conehead, came over for a smoke

“Choppety Choppety Captain Conehead” said Henry

Captain Conehead chopped up a couple of buds with some white ox

Stinky buds, purple nurple, the ultimate high in the sky

 

Henry packed his pipe, lit and inhaled

A warm fuzzy numbness descended on his brain

Everything was funkier, more interesting, more amazing

He put on the Beatles and started to sink into his chair

This is a most excellent day Captain Conehead he said

For all Henry’s paranoia and raving insanity was resolved with a few cones

And for once, he didn’t feel alone

 

conversation-between-man-and-woman-conversion

Psychosexual confusion profusion of mutated illusion
When you smile my heart beat doubles
Pandimensional panic when I think I have offended you with a dodgy poem
Poisonous paranoia pervades as I wonder
If you would like to be more than friends
Titanic trepidation worrying which word to choose to unlock your heart
Fear of humiliation if I say something stupid or creepy and make an idiot of myself
Social interaction can be complex if you can’t get your shit together
Mind manipulation is beyond me as I have a nonverbal disability
Respectable speech takes effort when conversing with person of the opposite gender
Consumate humility is required in many situations
I’m hoping to master the art of conversation

 

alone boy - original size

 

Cone of chilli powder
Boot in guts
Laughter at your expense
Shoved off your feet
Punched in the face
Shaven head immersed in alcohol
Gonad paralysis
Mental misfire
Tumours in soul
Knife in eyeball

It is important not to make loneliness and romantic failure your identity
Like a coat of woe over your personality
Which emits doom and darkness
Life will not reach out and grab you
A horrible scene
Prophecy of subterranean madness
Rubber man
Plastic man
Strip off your paranoia like shitty underpants
Before you die in a puddle of self-deprecation
Hiding in corners like a spider or a gecko
Just observing passively
Because afraid anxious confused
Sometimes it’s hard to find the right thing to say
So I remain silent as a sphynx

clowncorpse

Corpse of a clown
Face without eyes
Deadweight diatribe against earth magic
Maudlin musing about nocturnal naughtiness
Dead grey foetus in a rubbish bin
Dead eyed optimism
Dead eyed consumerism
Corpse of a chorus girl
Makeup blurred, legs spread
Paranoia, Paranoia
Meanwhile many at the old folks home are
Entranced by the possibility of a quiet death
A quick death
Sacrificial mechanisms confound and confuse
And Paranoia seeps in
Encrusted with schadenfreude
Beaten to a spaghetti consistency
Squeezed through skull
Aching for cold lips
Of death kiss
Corpse of Marilyn Monroe
Necrophilia
Paranoia, Paranoia
Eyeball sliced like an egg
Eye-juice oozes
Poison gas pass-times eat away the soul
Napalm nightmares blaze across the cranium
Paranoia, Paranoia
Road-kill retro-action to circumvent cynicism
Squashed cat somnambulism
Body-bag of broken bones
Corpse of a junkie
Fantasy zombie collapses
Cold in a corner
Paranoia, Paranoia
Rigour mortis
Statue of the living
Physical indelible memory
Every corpse like a leaf in the wind
And a cell in the body of the grim reaper

ravenhair

I had a dark secret love
Like a mull-plant hidden in the roof
Sapping my energy
I was always afraid
That the pigs would come and take my dark secret love away

I had a dark secret love
Like a case of genital warts
Irritating me constantly
So itchy, so itchy
Firing my paranoia and shame
And sending me to pharmaceuticals

I had a dark secret love
Of someone who didn’t love me
And it was a totally pointless exercise
In magnifying my suffering
And turbo-charging my loneliness

Bloody_rose_by_HakunaMattata

There’s so much beauty in the world
Broken glass is a vision of glistening dew
There’s so much beauty in the world
Shading green leaves scattered on the branches of an oak tree
There’s so much beauty in the world
Blood drops on a white rose in a secret garden
There’s so much beauty in the world
Little blue wrens zoom over bushes making letters in the air
There’s so much beauty in the world
Wedge-tailed eagle soaring over the desert looking for prey
There’s so much beauty in the world
Guinea-pigs purr when you stroke their backs
There’s so much beauty in the world
Fresh grass steams for cattle in early morning
There’s so much beauty in the world
Forget about structure and discipline
Forget about suburbia and suburban dreams
Forget about income and outgoings
Forget about your body’s pilgrimage to death
There’s so much beauty in the world
Throw away your preconceptions
Throw away you paranoia
Throw away your motivation
Throw away your clothes
Refuse to be a victim
Don’t be ordinary
Whatever you do
Don’t be ordinary
Forget about structure and discipline
There’s so much beauty in the world

loneliness2

Understand the solitary man
Burnt out tree lost in a forest of loneliness
Pebble under an infinite mountain
He puts on a mellow album
Smokes a couple of cones
Lights mandarin flavoured incense
Stares at the dirty plates and empty drink bottles surrounding him and recoils at how dirty the coffee table is
Considers doing the washing
Considers moving the dirty plates to the kitchen
Doesn’t move

His mental soliloquy:
“Oh my filth, my precious filth
No-one can tell me to clean up
At least I know where things are
Oh God ,I’m getting fat
My back aches when I walk
I’m going to die alone in a rented room
From a heart attack or lung cancer
Or I’ll get diabetes and someone will chop off my leg”

Paranoia, paranoia most foul in lonely rooms all over the world where excess men who nobody wants live out their pathetic lives
His personal space is small
No-one wants to invade it
His dreams are always full of women
But his life is empty of them
Too depressed to jerk off but soaked in longing
Waiting for death
Understand the solitary man