Posts Tagged ‘relax’

insomnia

 

When I can’t sleep random thoughts rush through my head

Sometimes sad, sometimes suicidal, sometimes silly

When I can’t sleep I try to meditate instead

Which helps a little but I still feel frustrated

When I can’t sleep I count sheep or breaths or thoughts

To try to sooth my mind and regulate my mood

When I can’t sleep I post on Facebook that I can’t sleep

To try to elicit sympathy and likes

When I can’t sleep

I grumble and groan like grumpy grandpa

And give the shits to everyone I meet

Because I get so agitated and anxious

When I can’t sleep I stay up all night listening to RTR FM

Or read a book

When I can’t sleep the cogs in my brain crunch and creaks

When I can’t sleep the beat of the blood brain barrier is deafening

When I can’t sleep I jerk off to relax

But I never do

When I can’t sleep my head feels like it’s full of glue

Which is neither strange nor new

Instead lost and askew

psychotic-disorder-945

Last time I stopped taking my antipsychotics

I felt a bit weird and anxious

And started getting obsessed with the rantings of pick-up artists on the internet

I was convinced by their bullshit that I could emulate an Alpha male

I tried picking up every woman I met

And got progressively crazier every day

Antipsychotics make me fat but they also keep me sane

Toxic masculinity belted through my veins

My pores oozed fuck juice

Not a good situation

So I went back on my medication

And started to mellow out a bit

Now I think about beautiful women all the time

But I can control my impulses