Posts Tagged ‘sexual’

depression

The crackle of clumsiness

As I attempt to communicate

While drunk as Boris Yeltsin

And only end up freaking women out

And being that creepy guy

That incel waste of space exuding desperation

When I was just trying to be friendly

And not trying

To get into their pants

Or at least trying not to think about it

Or look like I was thinking about it

After the first rejection

Comes the second

And that’s okay

It’s after the hundredth rejection in a row

When not even looking for anything sexual

That the depression really sets in

Like a cancer of the brain

macho-man-12

The machinery that turns boys to men
Is an awful contraption
Old as the pyramids
It cuts and hacks away
Sentiment, emotion and tears
Theatricality, fabulousness, kindness and gentleness
Leaving a hollowed out shell of a person
Anything feminine or gay is hacked out
By your peers and by your parents
As there is nothing worse for a heterosexual man than being feminine
Yet another macho dominant asshole is born
Complete with homophobic slurs
Muscle-bound machismo
Sexism and racism
And raw animal lust
And feminists complain about this which is entirely justified
But ask them if they would sleep with a non-dominant male
And the true depth of the problem emerges

sexism

I could tell I’d freaked you out
You said ‘That’s offensive especially for women. Let’s stop talking about that stuff.’
And my stomach knotted into a ball, and my balls crawled up inside me
I thought of how lonely for female company I was
How desperate to impress
I realized I’d blown it and been offensive
Oh God, don’t let me be a servant of the patriarchy
I don’t want to oppress anyone
My language about my flirting lessons is not appropriate
My attitude to women is not appropriate
It has a hint of hunger
It has a hint of lust
It has a hint of objectification
It has a hint of sexism
It has a stench of fear
It has a stench of desperation
It has a stench of ignorance
It has a stench of idolatry
I don’t want to be a gibbering maniac with a rapist mind
Please don’t think I’m a monster or a creeper
I’m just so lonely that I feel like I’m dying inside from the ground up
Inch by inch turning into a statue
Soon to be made a psychological eunuch
By sexual deprivation, frustration and loneliness

Empathy

Posted: January 23, 2015 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

kathleen_hanna
Hands that grope your ass
Uninvited in darkness
Men pretending to be your friend just to fuck you
Men pretending to be astronauts or fighter pilots just to fuck you
Men pretending to be rich or wearing ridiculous clothes just to fuck you
Men shouting ‘nice arse’, ‘show us your tits’, and ‘I’d do you’ from passing cars
Men reciting tired superannuated lines
Being told you should shave your legs
Being told you should not show too much skin
Being told you’re a slut if you do
And it’s your fault if you get harassed
Being a body and never a brain
Feeling emptied of personhood by constant harassment
Feeling that all men care about is your body
Fearing rape by a friend or a boyfriend
And being told it’s your fault if it happens
Continuously having your boundaries violated by creeps
I hope I understand
Perhaps I don’t
But I’m so different
I feel like a brain without a body
Woman, teach me
Show me your pain
Show me your life
Show me your love
Show me your fears
Show me your joys
Much more than love, all you need is empathy
As Kurt Cobain wrote in his suicide note

beautifulwoman
Once again I’m in a condition of too many women and not enough social skills
OT honours students have invited me to an end of year party
So many pulchritudinous women that my brain rolls back in my skull and my balls clench back up into my body
Social workers there as well and you can tell them from OTs.
OTs are straight and the social workers are urban pretentious hipsters- my kind of people
Like poets
I am transformed to a heightened state of social awareness thanks to several pints of stout
I converse with them all and they are all friendly, smiling and pure, but I don’t sense any sexual tension or moments of intimacy
I have a fantastic time even though there are too many women and not enough social skills
One of the girls takes me home
I ask her if she wants to meet my guinea pigs
She says no.