Posts Tagged ‘shit’

Charles-Bukowski_8741

Here comes a maniac dripping blood

Here comes runny shit

Here comes meth mouth

Here comes psychedelic sausages

Here comes a dynamic dildo

Here comes a transphobic lesbian separatist

Here comes a gender nonbinary banana

Here comes Batman

Here comes a volley of knuckles

Here comes a technicolour feast of fakers

Here comes ADHD

Here comes OCD

Here comes the KGB

Here comes Uranus

Here comes one sick motherfucker to kick your ass

 

Dream

Posted: February 17, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

 

nick

I have a recurring dream where I’m back living with my parents

And they are giving me shit about not having a job

Then I’m talking to my brother

And I say  to him

‘If anyone ever asks you to go to Laos

Don’t go/ Don’t go/Don’t go

My brother died in Laos and we don’t know what killed him

Then I wake up

conversation-between-man-and-woman-conversion

Psychosexual confusion profusion of mutated illusion
When you smile my heart beat doubles
Pandimensional panic when I think I have offended you with a dodgy poem
Poisonous paranoia pervades as I wonder
If you would like to be more than friends
Titanic trepidation worrying which word to choose to unlock your heart
Fear of humiliation if I say something stupid or creepy and make an idiot of myself
Social interaction can be complex if you can’t get your shit together
Mind manipulation is beyond me as I have a nonverbal disability
Respectable speech takes effort when conversing with person of the opposite gender
Consumate humility is required in many situations
I’m hoping to master the art of conversation

 

ginsy

Atavistic, anachronistic, ararchistic
Freedom
Under infinite blue skies
But maggots crawl
And I have itchy balls
So it’s hard to get enthusiastic
About the endless days of smoky haze
Puff, puff, puff
Clouds like cotton streaking the sky
I’m feeling high
My brain is tie-dyed
Can’t seem to arrange my shit
Even a little bit
Mental malfunction
Broken gears
Stuffed sprockets
I’ve got the fear
Ginsberg heard Blake read
Sunflower
Saw soaring towers over profound vistas
Hallucinatory sunlight
Irradiating poppy fields
But wait there’s more
Crystal lakes
Subtle ambience
Heavenly angels disguised as heavenly angels
Bodily metamorphosis into a being of light
Stars blend and merge into fractal metapatterns
Gentle breeze
Feeling at ease

screen-shot-2012-10-30-at-4-28-19-pm

Felonious kicks
For stupid pricks
Cavorting like corpses through purple twilight
Tedious fucks
Out of luck
When concrete cracks
Buildings collapse
Never go back to the town of your birth
Where skeletons parade through lonely streets
First people you meet
Have no eyes and no faces
Spectres haunt corners and grimace like gargoyles
Cars pass driven by porcelain princesses
Taking their kids to school
While their identikit husbands toil
Through uneven soil
And death’s maw beckons
At every second
To suck them into the pit
Full of shit
They consume and sit in front of television
Hypnotized
Hype glazes their eyes
And zombifies their skulls till everything just seems to blur
Into a grey and infinite turd
Stinking up their neurons and rendering them vegetable
Useless as a used condom

Heroin in spoon on black background

Heroin in spoon on black background

The sun hits the sky
Like a fist in the eye
And I feel like I’ll die
And I feel like I’m fried

The smack in the spoon
Is sucked up by a fit
And it’s coming on soon
And it’s really good shit

The woman explodes
Through her nipples and nodes
And I feel like she’ll die
But I’m just not sure why

The torture begins
And the faceless ones win
The moon cures the air
There’s a stench of despair

The sun hit’s the sky
Like a fist in the eye
And I feel like I’m high
And I’m just not sure why

smoking meth

2 pm I take a taxi over to Shelby’s place. Her X Brad is there and they are both really excited to see me. I have the money—they have the contacts
It’s time to do some serious drugs

First up brad says he knows some guy from who lives not far away
I say I want 200 worth and he heads off
Shelby and I chat—it seems that no time has passed since we met and we always get on well— but we can’t resist bitching about how long brad is taking

Finally Brad is back
I think it looks a bit light
But bugger it
Stick it in your arm it will do you no harm
he mixes up and brings out three 1 ml syringes with about twenty mills in each

He gives me a shot—I know it’s gone into the vein in my hand when I see the blood
Then comes a substantial but not transcendent head rush
I feel like my senses are more accurate
My head feels clear as glass
I’m pinging

Then we get some beers and start some serious drinking
Shelby gets a call saying she can get a good hundred from her friend Su
So the anticipation builds again—Brad is still there so in theory I could still shoot up, but I thought fuck it— I’m going smoke this shit
Su rocks up with the meth and I pay a hundred
Brad divides it up and puts my share on aluminium foil
I wait until the smoke gets thick and white then suck it up with an empty Ventolin
The smoke tastes bitter, but not unpleasant and the rush hits my brain like a runaway train
Wow smoking is as good as shooting
I feel electric surges through my whole body and my eyes open wide
After about three smokes all the meth is gone but I’m buzzing all over by this stage and my teeth are grinding
The world is infinite and crystalline and under my control
I am the Ubermensch

Then Shelby gets a call offering a point for fifty bucks
Fuck me we’re going to get even higher
In ten minutes it’s here
This time I smoke it through a proper crack pipe
No thick white smoke is wasted and soon I feel like I’m towering over the universe at hyper-speed
My eyeballs are popping out of my head and my jaw is moving
I think I’ve had enough.

When you talk
I can hear gears whirling and missing
And see misfired electricity racing to the end of burnt-out of neurons
You are talking to yourself and not to me
And you always smoke all the weed

Your world is populated by imaginary friends
A whispering, mumbling, shouting cacophony
And you’re always talking to them
But you say you’re not schizophrenic

You are convinced of your genius
But how much is pretension
And how much is delusion
And how much sanity prevention

‘Artist’ is a wall you hide behind
To avoid getting help
It’s all getting tired
Call the doctor

You need help
Like fifty psychiatrists in Jamaica bent out of their brains just thinking about your problems
You need help
Like Freud and Jung tag teaming you on a couch of marshmallows help
You need help
Psychologists, psychiatrists, psych-nurses, witch doctors everybody helping you
Then you might get your shit together
And stop being such a pain in the ass

lonelyperson
Fuck this shit
I like women
Women don’t like me
It’s a conundrum
A paradox
Who the fuck wants to fuck a middle-aged fat bastard
Who the fuck wants to cuddle up to someone sweaty, bloated and pointless
How much longer will I self-destruct:
For love
For the sake of pain
For madness
For joy
For kicks
For blitzkrieg insanity
For lack of a good woman

I like women
Women don’t like me
I am:
Too fat
Too lonely
Too desperate
Too maudlin
Too pathetic
Too weird
Too stoned
Too drunk
So I have another beer
And I have another cigarette
I have another cone
Occasionally I have a shot
And exude infinite soul-longing for silent death-bliss
Which will come on like a shot of smack and euthanize my emptiness
And set me free to roam the realm of Spirits
With angel’s wings

nude

Would you be my imaginary girlfriend?
It’s not a demanding role
Just treat me with kindness
And don’t ignore me
I will inflate your tolerant smile into a balloon of unrequited love
Transubstantiate indifference to affection
Dream of you daily and cry out your name in my sleep
Dancing flesh, pink nipples in my dreams

Could you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will place you on a pedestal taller than a Jarrah tree
And imagine that you are an angel from highest heaven
I know you’re out of my league

Should you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will be your biggest fan
And allow you treat me like shit
But I promise not to get to weird
Or start stalking you
I know it’s twisted
But I just can’t help myself