Posts Tagged ‘together’

scream

Back ensconced in ward 8 Bentley Hospital in my flytrap mind

At least I’m with my crazy people

Suicidal ideation with cold claws of depression around my throat

Empathy and cigarettes as I meet the gentle mental

Telling tales of trauma as we lurch toward medication time buoyed by companionship

Memories of their voices

‘She was born a heroin baby’

‘I took an overdose of Valium and a shitload of antidepressants’

‘I tried to kill myself twice’

‘I wish I was dead’

‘I tried to hang myself with a sheet and the nurse found me’

People rendered fragile by the viscous blender of earth

Some think us hopelessly broken

We balance madness and sanity in our brains sometimes madness wins

Medication time, medication time

Drugs are shuffled by doctors and dolled out to wild-eyed victims of the societal meat-grinder

Titration of pills and prescriptions to quell anxiety, depression and delusion

Uppers, downers, round and rounders

Anti-psychotics, anti-depressants and heavenly benzodiazepenes

Then we sit outside in the courtyard to smoke to punctuate our day

Sharing cigarettes with noble depressives or exploring thought projection with shamanic schizophrenics

We dance a devilish dance in a rain of paranoia

Until it all becomes too much

We are sad, we are sometimes shattered

Sometimes hard to love

But we laugh and we smile too

Then howl out the agony of our souls

We will keep trying

To get our heads together

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metallic

Steel soul rusting

Copper asshole sucks and blows

Clank and crank like an ancient train

Robotic rot

Metallic plate cancer

Metastasizes

Into corrupt and delusional alloys

All over the place and in your face

A paranoid work-droid

Buzzing and whirring a rich vein

Like a spinning top

Flipped out and loaded

Rusty and corroded

Never quite achieving togetherness

Shattering into scrap

Getting into crap

balanced-rocks-1

Precarious
Life is precarious
I may start to lose focus
Start worrying about worrying
Catastrophizing and creeping towards insanity
Isn’t it important just to let anxiety go?
Watch paranoia pass into nothing
And be in the present
Not fearing the future
Or ruminating in the past
But applying conscious thought to each action
To get it together

When you talk
I can hear gears whirling and missing
And see misfired electricity racing to the end of burnt-out of neurons
You are talking to yourself and not to me
And you always smoke all the weed

Your world is populated by imaginary friends
A whispering, mumbling, shouting cacophony
And you’re always talking to them
But you say you’re not schizophrenic

You are convinced of your genius
But how much is pretension
And how much is delusion
And how much sanity prevention

‘Artist’ is a wall you hide behind
To avoid getting help
It’s all getting tired
Call the doctor

You need help
Like fifty psychiatrists in Jamaica bent out of their brains just thinking about your problems
You need help
Like Freud and Jung tag teaming you on a couch of marshmallows help
You need help
Psychologists, psychiatrists, psych-nurses, witch doctors everybody helping you
Then you might get your shit together
And stop being such a pain in the ass

sunset_191746

You and me baby against the jet-plane gigallos
You and me baby against the pornographic priestesses
You and me baby against leprosy and fascist verse
You and me baby against dead soul celebration and poison pretension

You and me baby with pustules and pus
You and me baby with dinosaurs and sets of drawers
You and me baby with wonders of science and lies of creation
You and me baby with a golden thread of truth in our garments

You and me baby under the Christ-light and dripping with sexual magnetism
You and me baby under thunder and over lightning
You and me baby encased in sarcastic babbling
You and me baby entranced by knowledge of nothingness

You and me baby fighting in a Tim-tam war with Coles
You and me baby fighting the war on mediocrity with secret statistics
You and me baby fighting with our bloated bellies to overcome capitalism
You and me baby fighting for revolution with our pants down

You and me baby- together at last