Posts Tagged ‘tutu’

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Don’t cry tutu-princess, tender poet, loving mum

The monster won’t let you see your love within the house

So fly the coop, make your own nest and kick him in the bum

A comfortable nest where flowers boom

And mushrooms zoom and sunlight shines forever

Don’t cry precious woman, heavenly comforter, gorgeous lady

The monster will lose when you stand up to him

And tell him to get stuffed

Then off to your own four walls

Where life isn’t as rough

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Just to impress you I rolled a whole stick into a doobie and lit it up
Just to impress you I drank ten pints of Guinness
Just to impress you I sculled a bottle of Wild Turkey
Just to impress you I vomited and fell off my chair

Just to impress you I smoked a gram of crystal meth
Just to impress you I stayed up for five days
Just to impress you I shot up fifty bucks worth of smack
Just to impress you I nodded off in the corner in a house full of junkies

Just to impress you I penetrated the clouds with my breath and enervated the stars with my glare
Just to impress you I transmogrified into a Wookie and howled at the moon
Just to impress you I drank the Nile river and shat out a solid gold ingot
Just to impress you I lost 40 kilos by chopping off my legs

Just to impress you I broke wind in the moonlight and set it on fire
Just to impress you I consecrated a toad as pope while wearing a tutu
Just to impress you I swam to the bottom of the ocean and found you a giant pearl
Just to impress you I declared war on New Zealand and dropped my trousers to the Queen

Just to impress you I fought a tiger to the death and feasted on it’s flesh
Just to impress you I beat my meat to Blake’s quatrains and gibbered like a gibbon
Just to impress you I journeyed to the land of the monkey king and brought back seven gnostic scriptures
But you said ‘I’m not impressed and I’m never going to have sex with you’