Posts Tagged ‘weird’



When I was in a band

We thought we were going to be famous

And snort cocaine out of groupies’ butt cracks

Get married to some hot models

Or maybe Winona Ryder

And take an amount of drugs that would scare the shit out of Keith Richards

We had a go at doing the drugs

One time we even got paid in Morphine

And pretended to be Lou Reed

Many times I was kicked out of my own gigs

Drunk off my head and acting like a lunatic

So I didn’t have much luck with the women

‘Cos I was too fat and weird

We always did well with the bizarre guys with dreadlocks at the back of the bar

‘Who would love our silly pot songs

And ridiculous attempts to channel Iggy Pop

When the band broke up

‘Cos the other members started breeding

I was sad


Cellophane trousers and corpulent kisses
Right on your bottom my hooligan love
Come to crescendo then meet round the bend
Just so invigorating doing your friend
Beaten and broken and bust and contused
Never beginning and always confused
Newspaper thoughts in your sand-paper mind
O how I wish I could leave you behind
Magnificent dreams and magnificent schemes
Comingling violence and grinning obscene
In desert, in rainbows beside the grey earth
How much does my brain cost?
What is it worth?
While crows pick the eyes from a four year old child
Life is haphazard your essence is wild
Feed me explosions and flowers and beer
Take me out dancing and let me be weird
By growing a subtly stoned grey hipster beard



Here’s to the wild ones, the weird ones
Who take a crap on the desk at Centrelink with a shit-eating grimace on their faces and demand to be addressed as Jesus Christ
Who go wild on whiskey or whatever and run amuck through the back-alleys and cheap boarding houses of Perth
Who polish their guts with bourbon and stoke their tobacco fires constantly
Who cry out against that military industrial mind-fuck- the consumerist gobbledegook of advertising
Who always know where to get good drugs and how to avoid getting ripped off by other, meaner freaks
Who want to bring down capitalism and Nickleback with a single gesture of flagrant love
Who when captured by the pigs paint a Sistine Chapel of shit all over their cells and gibber like gibbons
Who keep detailed records of the worldwide conspiracy of Masons to achieve world domination by writing on the insides of gum wrappers
Who write their lives all over the public walls of the city in murals that would scare a representative member of society- whatever that is
Who ricochet through late-night hipster bars clad in tattoos and tobacco and get kicked out for questioning the purpose of the universe
Who participate in threesomes with persons of indeterminate gender in the late-night anal darkness
Who plunder the night for kicks and hi-jinks and scare the crap out of the forces of conformity
Who preen and style for fashion darlings in op-shop rags with multiple piercings
As they bless the world, may God bless them all


Would you be my imaginary girlfriend?
It’s not a demanding role
Just treat me with kindness
And don’t ignore me
I will inflate your tolerant smile into a balloon of unrequited love
Transubstantiate indifference to affection
Dream of you daily and cry out your name in my sleep
Dancing flesh, pink nipples in my dreams

Could you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will place you on a pedestal taller than a Jarrah tree
And imagine that you are an angel from highest heaven
I know you’re out of my league

Should you be my imaginary girlfriend?
I will be your biggest fan
And allow you treat me like shit
But I promise not to get to weird
Or start stalking you
I know it’s twisted
But I just can’t help myself


Crack bone upon your mobile phone
Come out of sky-scraping Satanic towers of Moloch and Mammon
Do a silly, sunlit dance like an insane drunken hobo all over the moribund urban streets
Moon the captains of industry, reptile lawyer-monsters and asshole accountants
Live your life by dream language and weird associations
Paint the sky psychedelic rainbow colours of love
In your life’s roller disco
Send messages of peace and hope down the new song-lines of the suburbs
And bless each moment with love

Do we all need to be lost strangers in poison empty rooms?
Can we reach out and love our neighbours
Even the guy who stole mobile phone
Even those who beat me, ridiculed me and shaved my head
It’s complicated
Making connections,
Forming a friendship network for socially awkward people and weirdo poets
Does everything have to be so desperate and lonely?
Tear off the shroud of suffering and rise to new psychic energy.
So a new day of compassion and empathy may begin


Posted: June 5, 2015 in poetry
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The eternal jism of your mandrake mind
Drips down the mirror of your brain like tooth-paste
Devouring all thought-submission
Perpetrating sexual mind-transmission

The eternal jism of your maddening mind
Soaks up the voices of pretty pixies on acid
Takes stakes in the game between thought and reality
Beats up the yolk of your decaying ego

The eternal jism of your magpie mind
Slides down wavers of consent
And drips glistening drops
Of hope on dizzy dream poppies
Awaiting your succulent satisfaction
As your ass trembles before the corpse of a lady

The eternal jism of your moribund mind
Lurks in mental toilet-cubicles absorbing graffiti emotions
Sucks on the sauce-weasel of self-contained satisfaction
Beats meat in the corridors of over-reaction

The eternal jism of your misanthropic mind
Trips out on mushrooms until it sees Mordor
Dissolves dust off a purple paisley collar
And waits for a hand-job in a Northbridge alley

The eternal jism of your meatball mind
Waits for of a woman with diamonds in her eyes
And life everlasting between her thighs
And when she doesn’t come lurks in despair
Attempts to expire while mentally impaired

The eternal jism of your megaton mind
Will not unite with suburban eggs
Longs for sun-kissed horizons beyond
Mere reproduction


Posted: June 25, 2014 in poetry
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Bend not the root of the twice kissed eel,
Always put the drama of the moment on display,
Betray the dreams of the ghosts who suck your soul,
Make mischief with the concept of a day.

Never weasel words of compassion.
Never beat a wookie with a bat.
Never make love with an alien from above,
Be friendly to those who want to chew the fat.

Blather the priest who shrouds you with a veil,
Bother the person who is meant to be in charge,
Take every instinct and turn it into fairy floss,
Always fathom thoughts you may enlarge.

Crumble the expression that you’ve made quite an impression,
Never dance the rhumba with a goat,
Keep your hands to yourself my friend,
Please don’t put them on my throat.

Embarrass the haughty and the mighty and the great,
Laugh at pictures of guinea pigs in hats,
Life’s a smoke and then it’s on fire,
Never try to build a dam with cats.

Brandish your contempt for mediocrity,
Don’t be a sell-out for a pocket full of stars,
Don’t soak yourself in suburban sentiment,
It’s probably wise never to steal cars.

I am the purple crustacean of electric visions and doom-time scenarios.
I encompass all things from the void to the myriad blown—out stars.
Around me flow bubbles and curlicues of psycho-thoughts and the voices of the dead.
The dead whisper heresies in my crustacean ears and I hear every one.
I live in a bucket of custard at the bottom of the sea with sea urchins in my hair.
Many strange events will be possible beneath my claws as I grasp the meaning of my existence.
For I will not murder the days or count them out like cough drops.
Each instant is precious and characterized by golden glow and fuzzy hair-clotted memories.

My carapace shelters the damned until they are released from their torment.
I watch left and right as my eyes pivot on stalks and I see them dance the dance of a thousand deaths.
All bow before me as I channel the impulses of a million brains through my tentacles, electrical mind thoughts from the satellite god of conspiracy to me and back again.
What wonders I have dominion over at the bottom of the sea!
Water ballet down rivulets of sea weed wig forms and brave moments of mollusc riding mayhem,
I talk to the fish and the fish talk to me, we ride with the great white sharks enthralled with their teeth and grace and feed on the carrion of infinite nowhere
And I astral travel to every point in the universe instantly.